Choices, choices, choices

It’s only been a few days but I already have so much to write about!  I thought I’d focus this post on the new concept of giving DJ choices rather than automatically telling him what or what not to do (unless it’s dangerous!).

This seems to be the most difficult category for me.  I’ve already become so used to saying, “put that down, come here, no no no!” that to stop and pause and think about two options that I’d be happy with him choosing is sometimes nerve wracking!  I’m also realizing that in order to use this with a young toddler, I need to stick with a lot of yes or no questions, or questions that involve “up or down”, “more or all done”.  The option of “You decide or I decide” will also be changed to “You choose or I choose”, after I realized that in DJ’s mind, “I decide” sounds very close to “Outside”, which happens to be one of his favorite words and favorite things to do.  I did get a good chuckle every time I asked him thought, because he would respond, “Outside!” and get all excited about it.  As his vocabulary continues to expand I’ll be able to give him more specific choices, and hopefully by then I’ll be quicker in giving them.

Continue reading

Loving on Purpose – Week 1

So I’m getting back to my blogging finally !  I just needed to collect my thoughts and focus on something that is new and exciting so how about parenting!?  Seriously, this blog is going to be all about parenting, but in a way that is totally foreign to me.  While I grew up in a wonderful, loving, Christian family, I must admit that my parents approached some things in a way that I would like to build upon and improve.  Besides, I’m not my parents, and my son DJ isn’t me.  While I have nothing but respect and love for my parents, I remember some rocky times that we had, specifically in adolescence/teenager-hood that I would like to prevent, and I think building the foundation can start as early as 17 months.  For some background (and so as not to repeat myself), check out the About Nilly Momma page.

A large part of this process will be learning more about myself and what it looks like to truly believe and act upon the truth that, “No one can control me but me” and therefore, I can’t control others, even some of the things that my 17mo old son will choose to do.

As I start this week, I’m trying to keep a few truths in mind:

“There is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out fear; because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18

In order to train our children in love, our behavior as parents must reduce fear; not increase fear…We need some methods, tools, and skills to respond to our child’s sin in such a way that we create love, not fear. – D.S.

So at the heart of godly parenting is the conviction that the mistakes and failures of our children are not the enemy. The real enemy is bondage, and if we don’t teach our children to walk in and handle freedom, they won’t know what to do with it. – D.S.

I hope to post some stories later in the week, successes and blunders.  Gotta learn somehow, right?  Comments and encouragements are welcome!