Monthly Archives: February 2011

One of those days…

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So we’re having one of those days.  You know, the kind where milk is being spit out after every sip, food is thrown at the end of every meal, every “toy” becomes a frustrating obstacle.  This creates the potential for a very frustrated little boy, not to mention momma!

Today we’ve had our share of “fun or other room”, and had some choices too, “you can swallow your drink or be all done”.  I even got to set some boundaries and say, “Mommy will pick you up when I’m finished eating my sandwich”, just to give myself 5 minutes of peace, to which DJ partially complied.  He gave me peace, I told him I was done and picked him up, at which point he quickly requested “Da Da”.   “Da Da is at work, sweetie”, at which DJ whimpers.  Sigh : )

All in all, I know I have an overly tired toddler on my hands, but it doesn’t make it much easier.  I have my to do list hanging over me, spilt milk and thrown food to pick up, and my little boy wants his daddy, who will be at work till dinner time.  Not much I can do about that : )

What I can do though, is stay in control of me.  Get my 5 minutes of peace here and there, and continue to be consistent with my little one.  Nap time looked like it would never happen.  Our routine of reading books & having a song and a snuggle was completely thrown out the window as DJ squiggled and squirmed, calling for Dada and wanting out my arms.  So I gave him a choice, “Honey, you can read a book with Mommy, or you can go straight to bed”.  Obviously, he still didn’t want to read the book, so into bed he went.  And into my bedroom I went, for some “mommy time”.  Fortunately, without any diaper removal or blanket/stuffed animal throwing (except for Mr “woof woof”) DJ fell asleep, after only a few minutes of protesting.

<sigh of relief>

What peace it gives me to know that he really does understand his choices (regardless of how simple) and that I can still be control of me, even when he is out of control of himself.  I also have to add that this is the first nap since the start of the strike 3 weeks ago that DJ has gotten himself to sleep.  Double victory : )  Here’s to a better afternoon for all of us!

Feeling Grateful

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As I mentioned previously, we’ve been having a bit of a nap crisis lately.  This is the start of week 3 of DJ taking very sporadic naps.  Since last fall he has been taking 2-3 hr afternoon naps, so you can imagine the shock and surprise of him giving them up for the most part.  In the past 15 days, he’s probably only taken a handful of naps, and only one of which was his normal length.

I was thinking about this tonight as I was sharing my new methods with some friends.  Before doing “Loving On Purpose” I would get pretty frazzled when our routine was thrown off, feeling responsible and helpless in the face of a tired cranky 18 month old.  I’m so grateful that I’ve had something to focus my attention on, that has brought out such positive responses from DJ, despite me feeling slightly out of control.  Even Dwight can attest that I’m far less frazzled by the time he’s home from work each day, and this is only the start of week 3!

After another failed nap attempt today, DJ and I had some fun playtime before dinner.  Then, during my dinner prep, I gave him the option of playing with a pile of little people toys in the kitchen or just 1 pan (he normally has the floor covered in pots & pans).  He went for the 1 pan, and proceeded to “cook” and stir various items, toys, spoons… etc : )  Eventually his stirring the pot became “pounding a drum” at which point I said, “Hey!  Fun or other room?”  To my delight, he put the spoon down, and went back to stirring.  He picked up his drumming 2 other times, but quickly decided to be “Fun” when asked.

I’m so proud of him, and so blessed that in one of the most trying times of long afternoons and sleepy “episodes” I have new tools in my pocket to communicate boundaries and what “Fun” looks like.  It’s all God’s grace that I’m able to get work done and still feel productive, in spite of no real baby “break” in my day.  What a wonderful reminder of how God provides and equips us  with what we need, when we needed.  I’ll keep praying for naps to come back too :)

Fun to be with…

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Week two of “Loving DJ on Purpose” has come and gone with it’s own set of challenges!  We’re currently experiencing a “nap strike” (hopefully temporary) which is adding the “tired cranky toddler” factor into this whole experience.  Fortunately bedtime has gotten easier and we’re all sleeping through the night still.  I apologize for not updating more, but it’s just been too much to think about lately!

I thought I’d focus this post on the “Fun or Other Room?” part of our new parenting routine.  I’ve been fairly hesitant about whether I’d see any success with this, especially considering DJ is now only 18months old!  In the past two weeks I’ve used it several times, with the kitchen cabinets (the “child proof locks” are no match for him), “rearranging” the DVD rack, pulling the heating vent out of the living room floor (never knew this was possible!), being gentle with Mommy & “BeBe”, etc.

Tonight we had an interesting interaction in the living room where he was trying to grab my cell phone away from me and yelling.  It went something like this:

DJ: AYAYAYYyYyAYA!
Me: Hey!  No Fun!  Fun or Other Room? (other room being the dining room)
DJ: YYAYBYyByASYFy! (Keeps yelling and getting frustrated since I’m not handing over the phone)
Me: You decide or Mommy decides?
DJ: (quiets down a bit and then keeps grabbing)
Me: Ok, you walk or Mommy carries you?
DJ: (still reaches and stomps for the phone)
Me: Ok, no problem (pick DJ up, carry him into the dining room)
Me: You can come back when you’re fun to be with, take your time (walk away)
DJ: Instantly follows me back to the living room
Me: Hey!  Are you gonna be fun? (big smile at him)
DJ: Looks curiously at Dwight & I and then gives us an enormous grin
Me & Dwight: Hey, that’s fun! Yay!  (big smiles and we proceed to play with something else)

This was one of my favorite “Fun or Other Room” times, as it completely diffused the situation, redirected his attention, and I didn’t have to hide my phone or get irritated.  It established a few boundaries of what “Fun” looks like when we’re playing together.  I realize it’s a small victory, but really we’re just beginning to teach him what behaviors and attitudes are “Fun” and he’ll be learning through process of elimination : )  I had a very different experience with him removing DVDs from our tower in the basement.  It took several trips of relocating him down the hallway (and actually one time of taking himself out of the room!) before he was distracted into doing something different.

The main goal of “Fun or Room is to teach DJ to use self control to govern himself and his actions, rather than me place external controls on him.  With the cell phone thing, I could’ve said, “No!  Don’t grab. Don’t yell.  Don’t hit.”  If he didn’t listen to that I then could’ve said, “Ok, you get a time out because you grabbed/yelled/hit”, and then get frustrated that he just wouldn’t listen to me and now I have to do a timeout and try to keep him in a chair or a corner for 2 minutes…  Eeesh!  Instead, he chose his behavior, and how he would leave the room, and when to return to the room, and upon returning, how he would continue to behave.  it was really beautiful to see him come back and smile and move on.

Here’s to a new week, hopefully full of solid naps and fun stories to share : )