Dove Droppings

Church was pretty awesome on Sunday. I lead worship in place of Chris, and just had a marvelous time in the presence of the Lord. I love when I get so caught up in worshiping that I kind of forget about the “leading” part. I just wanted to jump off the stage, it was just so good, and Holy Spirit was there and I could tell by watching the congregation that we were united in our worship of the Father. It was very sweet :_)

I’ve been thinking lately about how I’m a “worship leader” now. Dwight actually brought this to my attention recently. He asked me how it felt to be a worship leader, and honestly, my first reaction was that I didn’t want to be called that :_) I’m just unsure of the title I guess, and ultimately, I just want to be a worship leader. I feel like I have the skills to be a worship leader, I can sing, and play guitar ok :_) But I’ve never pursued worship leading as my “calling”. I love to worship, but I have never really seen myself leading worship full time for a church, or in front of huge crowds at conferences, or teaching seminars on worship, or writing a book about it… No, I really just want to be a worshiper :_)

This whole topic has also made me think about my “calling” a lot lately. Since I don’t see myself as being a full-time “worship leader” does that mean I’m called to something else? And is my calling actually about what I do?

In listening to tons of podcasts from IHOP, I’m beginning to realize that my calling really has nothing to do with my “ministry” or my “vocation”, but it has everything to do with my relationship with Jesus. It has everything to do with the way that I spend my time, how I think my thoughts, and what I allow myself to hear, see, and say.  Because Jesus wants my heart, he wants to know me, and his pursuit of me makes me want to know him more.  I’m finding that the only way to know him more is to spend time with him, by praying and reading the word. And it’s been so SO good and he’s meeting me there, which makes me want him even more.

I’m finding my true calling, my primary calling, and that’s intimacy with Jesus, and a history with him that is deep and wide.  I know I won’t always be this excited about it, but for the moment, I am.  I want to grow roots that go down deep into the soil and are firmly established in the truth.  So that when the drought comes, I’ll be ready :_)

So back to Sunday, and to explain the little title of this post.  After church was finished and I was packing up, Debbie came over (she’s the wife of Josh, who is interning with us for a couple months) and said she had a word for me.  During worship she had seen a dove come down above the stage and it flew directly between Martha and I.  Debbie laughed and said that as it flew by us, it looked like it was pooping on us, and she was like “what is that?!”.  Upon closer inspection, she realized that the dove was carrying little packages.  And as it flew back and forth between the stage and the sanctuary, it would take the packages to people, and drop them to them.  She felt like what she saw meant that as we were singing, the words that we sang was releasing things from heaven and bringing them to earth, and being released to the people in the congregation.

I was just so encouraged by what she shared.  I want to bring heaven to earth.  I want to sing prophetically and have things happen.  I want to see what the Father is doing, and do them here.  And the only way I will do that is with intimacy, my true calling.

Everything else will flow out of that.

Even dove droppings :_)