About

So what’s this all about anyway?

This blog is about a new season in my life. Lately I’ve been feeling like something is missing from my relationship with God. A couple months ago I remember thinking to myself, “what do they have that I don’t have?”, they being other people in my life that are thriving and excited about God and what he’s doing in their lives.

I was definitely not at that place.

In fact, I was bored.

And this is all a little hard to be sharing with the “world”, but it gets better

I think what it boils down to, is that I had fallen into a rut. I was leading worship on Sundays, experiencing God in powerful ways, and then as the week went on I would lose that fire and feeling, and by the time Sunday came again I was empty. There was no sustainability. I was frustrated, and didn’t quite know what needed to change.

So one Sunday a couple weeks ago, Doug was preaching about revelation, and how we need revelation in our lives. That we can’t learn revelation from other people, but it comes from the written word of God, which leads us to the living word, Jesus. Well I got a revelation that day! I haven’t had a consistent quiet time, ever. I barely read my bible, never sit down to just pray, and the couple times that I’ve tried to spend some time with God I just felt like nothing was happening. I was waiting for the audible voice, or the crazy out of body experience in the spirit and it wasn’t there. I wanted instant, drive-through experience.

So as I was still thinking about Doug’s message, one night I was sitting at my desk with nothing to do really, and Dwight asks me when I’m going to get into podcasts. So, that night I got into podcasts My favorite new worship music has come IHOP which is a missions base in Kansas City. They have a 24/7 house of prayer, and so I thought I’d look for a podcast by Misty Edwards, one of their worship leaders.

So I listened to a couple of her podcasts, and then I was listening to more by some other people from IHOP, and all of a sudden my heart and spirit were being stirred and I was getting excited. Something within me was being awakened. I wanted to read my bible. I wanted to dig in and see for myself what they were talking about. I wanted intimacy with God, in fact I needed it! I had been so bored for too long. I knew that the only way to grow, to go deeper, would be to stretch my muscles, and dig into the word and get to know God in a way that I’ve never known him. I needed to pursue him and chase after him, just as he’s pursued me and chased after me for so many years. I finally knew what was missing!

I had been doing so many things in my own strength, without really having intimacy with God. I didn’t have any foundation. My house (faith) was built on sand, and I knew that one day the storms could come and my whole foundation would be washed away. I need to build my house on The Rock. I need intimacy with the Father. I need to know God’s love for me, his deep love for me that has nothing to do with how much I do or how well I do it.

So, that’s what this blog is about. It’s about me digging in and sharing what I learn. It’s been a week and a half that I’ve been having a consistent prayer time, and I can already say that I love it, and I look forward to it more and more.

This is my prayer:

“I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.” Ephesians 1:17-19

~Gwennie